I Have A Dream

The last few days have been really difficult for me. I had to face reality, and sometimes that is extremely hard to do. So let me back up a bit.

I had been asked to run for SW Community Bootblack 2016. I thought about it, asked people I respect for their opinions, and had just about decided to go ahead and do it. Then the 1st of the month rolled around, and that is the day that I sit down and distribute the money I receive each month. After paying all the bills that I am required to pay out of my check, and looking at how Daddy's check was going to play out, I saw that we were left with a small amount of money to get us through the month. This was all before I even went to the store to get the groceries and other items that we, our beloved children and our home would need till the next time we were graced with some cash. I have lived like this for so long, that I can't even imagine what it would be like to be able to pay all our bills each month, and still have money left over to buy groceries AND have fun money. 

Competing is expensive, being a titleholder is expensive. I know that, I knew that before I ever competed in the first contest back in 2012. But I have a dream, so Daddy helped me fulfill that dream. As much as I want to go back to IlSb-ICBB and compete again....and win ICBB, it would not be fair to Daddy, our dogs, our home, and even myself to move forward with something that would jeopardize the safety and well being of our family. 

Yes, being a titleholder is special, it opens doors. It allows you to go and do things that possibly you wouldn't be able to do without that patch on your back. But holding a title brings responsibilities, and if I am going to hold another title, I want to make sure that I am in a position to make that year the best year possible. 

I have decided that I am not going to compete in 2016. I am going to focus on improving my health, and my family. I am going to open the doors to our home once a month for the Valley of the Sun Bootblacking Bee - in the hopes that people who have asked me about learning more about bootblacking will come and learn. I will continue to teach, wherever I am able, and work on some projects that I have floating around in my head. I still have a dream, not the same dream as a year ago, but I still have a dream.